Unbelievable

Life are so unpredictable. One moment we feel like nothing can go wrong..suddenly it just changed. My last blog wrote that I kinda have a boyfriend or someone special. But suddenly, he came out and say another thing. I just don't understand this. Why can't I get a decent guy that would actually stick to what he says. I'm tired..really tired. One day he said that I should be with him, the next day..he's not sure? Not sure??? Maybe I'm supposed to say that cos that's how I felt. I wasn't really sure what I had put myself into. Gosh!! Can someone just stop playing with their words??? I think I've become numbed to being broken hearted. Been through it so much that I don't feel anything anymore..and I can actually predict it will happen again with anyone or any guy. I miss the simple life...

Two days ago, I went to watch Peter Pan concert. There's this one song that I particularly like and this song could actually make me cry. And that's what happenned. Yesterday, out of no where, while listening to this song, I cried and cried like nobody's business. I think I've kept too much inside me that it's eating me up. I can't bear another heartbreak..I can't bear another drop of tears..I hate to be fragile..I hate to be so untrusting towards someone..and most of all I hate to be suspicious of people. It's easy for some people to say, forget about it...move on..there are other guys out there. Stop trying to get him..stop trying to figure him out...but what if, just what if that particular person that we pushed aside is actually the right person for us to be with. Yes, we can let Allah decide but then again without working hard, can we actually achieve it??

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Sometimes, I miss being a kid...where all the problems that we could think of is studies and who's our friends is...

I pray that I will be given strength to face yet another year of loneliness...