Time seems to fly fast when you don't want someone to leave. I'm counting the days till someone whose close to my heart is leaving. It sounds like a dream everytime I think of it, sometimes I wish that I would wake up from that dream. I had to pinch myself to make myself realise its a reality after all. And it makes me wonder why is it that we have to go through all the breakups, the seperations in life...if only I have the answer.
The worst is the memories. If only is a bitter memories, I can accept it well but all was good..good memories and sweet too. Never been treated so nice by someone and suddenly it's just being snatched away...how cruel is that.
I'm gonna miss the stealing look, the chats, the morning breakfast and the lunches..I miss how he can make me smile even at the worst day of my days, how he could just make me laugh everytime I'm down..buying me ice creams whenever my temper rises..hmmm...wake up dear..wake up..it's time to smell the coffee and reality that everything is temporary..
What's worse...the thought of not seeing each other anymore, the thought of not listening to his voice, the thought of not receiving messages from him and the thought that he even won't remember me at all or would our path will cross each other again for there are no reason for him to remember me at all. By the time he's gone maybe I will come to accept it and that I would accept in life there would always be seperations and break ups as I have accepted long ago that relationships never last long...
I will miss you dear as my friend and companion..as I count the days till you walk out of the door on your final day...
Monday, July 17, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Its coming to an end
It should’ve never started, it should’ve been stopped from the beginning but who are we to stop what is written from up above. I thought it was harmless fun, a harmless flirt. I never thought that it would go this far. The care that you showed me just fills the loneliness in my heart.
I never meant to intrude in your perfect bliss life, never meant to turn you into someone you’re not and never meant to start it all. Maybe it was a test from God for the both of us, resisting temptation that comes along. Why do we choose the road that we choose? Why do we make harsh judgment or shall I say a stupid one? Were we following our heart or were we following our lust?
The choice that I made, I know it’s selfish. I wanted happiness…. no…I longed for it. I longed for someone to give me the care and love that you have showed me..if only if only it can be forever. Why then when there’s happiness, sadness will start to show up? Why is it ripped away when you started to get a grip of it? Now I felt as if that blissfulness just slipped through my fingers like a sand hit by the ocean.
Maybe someday I will forget this event that happened in my life. Someday it will start to fade away and someday it will only be another memory, another chapter in my life. As you say goodbye to me, I will cherish the moments that we had. I will cry in my heart but I know, God have a reason for you leaving. God wants to protect you from me; God wants to protect the happiness that you have. Time to time I have reminded myself that it will soon end. However, in the state of denial, I wished quietly that it would last longer. Again, God has its own plan and the time has come for it to end.
The strong appearance that I portray lays one fragile heart that has been protected not to cry again. The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. That fragrance will always linger in my mind and my soul. To that my dear, I thank you for all the laughter, the smile and the care you have given me. Until someone else comes along, I’ll have to look for the hero that lies in me…
The most difficult thing is knowing there may never be another one like you. Trying to accept that I'll miss you more that I care to admit. I'm missing you, dear but maybe soon, i won't care at all and maybe soon, the pain will go away..
I never meant to intrude in your perfect bliss life, never meant to turn you into someone you’re not and never meant to start it all. Maybe it was a test from God for the both of us, resisting temptation that comes along. Why do we choose the road that we choose? Why do we make harsh judgment or shall I say a stupid one? Were we following our heart or were we following our lust?
The choice that I made, I know it’s selfish. I wanted happiness…. no…I longed for it. I longed for someone to give me the care and love that you have showed me..if only if only it can be forever. Why then when there’s happiness, sadness will start to show up? Why is it ripped away when you started to get a grip of it? Now I felt as if that blissfulness just slipped through my fingers like a sand hit by the ocean.
Maybe someday I will forget this event that happened in my life. Someday it will start to fade away and someday it will only be another memory, another chapter in my life. As you say goodbye to me, I will cherish the moments that we had. I will cry in my heart but I know, God have a reason for you leaving. God wants to protect you from me; God wants to protect the happiness that you have. Time to time I have reminded myself that it will soon end. However, in the state of denial, I wished quietly that it would last longer. Again, God has its own plan and the time has come for it to end.
The strong appearance that I portray lays one fragile heart that has been protected not to cry again. The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. That fragrance will always linger in my mind and my soul. To that my dear, I thank you for all the laughter, the smile and the care you have given me. Until someone else comes along, I’ll have to look for the hero that lies in me…
The most difficult thing is knowing there may never be another one like you. Trying to accept that I'll miss you more that I care to admit. I'm missing you, dear but maybe soon, i won't care at all and maybe soon, the pain will go away..
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